First of all I’d like to introduce myself to those in the room who haven’t worked with me before. My name is Lucy, and I run a small studio in Oxfordshire called LucyPole. I’ve been in the industry for 11 years, and my main role during that time has been teaching. That’s my passion.
I suffer with a chronic pain condition (Fibromyalgia), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and occasionally depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed almost 10 years ago, and my own self care journey started because I was on the classic chronic illness roundabout of being in pain, taking serious and long term medication to control it, and getting sicker and sicker as the months passed. I was constantly in pain, constantly feeling low and out of control, and constantly popping pills that didn’t seen to have any positive impact on my life.
Over the years, I saw so many different types of therapists, and tried everything I could find. Aromatherapy, Acupuncture, Physiotherapy, Chiropractic treatment, swimming, yoga, pilates, back and forward constantly to the Hospital. And nothing at all seemed to work. I felt like I was getting worse and worse. And I was starting to lose hope.
Eventually I found Phillipa. She’s local to me, and specialises in child cranial osteopathy. The woman is like some sort of magical healing angel - I swear. I’ve been seeing her for around 5 years, and she has changed my life. Her approach is holistic - meaning that she treats the whole of me. She can take one look at my eyes and know what is working and what isn’t. Through her, I’ve learned that there are so many ways to take care of your body ….. and most of them aren’t actual ‘physical’ in nature. To keep your body healthy, you need to take care of your WHOLE self, and this is something that I think is so relevant to us as dancers/athletes/performers/whatever role you play in the pole world.
SO WHAT IS WELLBEING? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
QUOTE: Well-being is the experience of health, happiness, and prosperity. It includes having good mental health, high life satisfaction, and a sense of meaning or purpose.
Our wellbeing on a daily basis is affected by so many things. Practical things AND emotional things. How you sleep. What you eat. Who you are around. How your confidence levels are. What your worries are. How your health is. I like to think of Wellbeing as the whole of you. Your mind, body, and soul. All around, encompassing health.
To me, Wellbeing is precisely what it says on the tin. Being Well. In all senses. Not just taking care of our bodies physically by exercising and eating well, but taking care of our mental and spiritual health too. I know the word ‘spiritual’ can panic some people - for me it inspires images of 60s hippy meditation, but bear with me! There’s genuinely so much more to it than that.
So, if your Wellbeing needs a little attention, how do we do this? What do we do? How do we action improving our Wellbeing?
Please let me introduce you to a little thing called Self Care …
WHAT IS SELF CARE?
Everyone can do it
Everyone should do it
It really works
Self Care. It gets talked about a lot these days. It’s become kind of a buzzword, so naturally, everyone wants to know about it and wants to be doing it.
But what actually IS self care? And, more importantly, how can we use it effectively in our Industry?
“Give yourself grace and/or meet yourself where you are… the amount of time you have for self-care might be small or the amount of time you can stand to do it even, but you have to know that and meet yourself where you are and relax properly.” (Yvonne)
AQ: Can anyone describe self-care?
Here’s the Oxford Dictionary definition for us to start with:
The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.
1.1 The practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
As we’re talking about this more from a wellbeing perspective than a medical one, the second
sentence uses some important words. ACTIVE. Taking an ACTIVE role in protecting one’s own
wellbeing. Purposefully doing things that feed your mind, your heart and your soul.
So, to put it in it’s most basic form, practising Self Care is about finding ways to check in on your
physical, mental and spiritual health. And that’s where it starts to get a little more difficult. It’s easy to know when you need to do something. It’s much harder to know WHAT to do and HOW to do it. How do you go about nurturing your soul? It’s a great term, but to the average person, what does it mean?
Let me just skip back to that dictionary description. ACTIVE. Taking an ACTIVE role in protecting one’s own wellbeing. I think that’s a great place to start. Self care means that you actually have to DO things. Not just think about them. It’s as much about learning to be proactive as it is dealing with things as they come along.
If you’re new to Self Care, I think a really useful first exercise is to put together an individual Self Care First Aid Kit. Not only will this provide you with an emergency go-to if and when you feel panicked, emotional, or you need grounding, but it will start to give you an idea of the things that help you when aren’t feeling 100%.
AQ: What would you usually find in a standard physical First Aid kit?
Now obviously, putting together a Mental Health or Self Care First Aid Kit is much more
complicated. Why? Because for the most part, our physical ailments can be generalised, and
aren’t person-specific. A cut is a cut is a cut. A graze will be a graze on you, me and the
next person. But when it comes to Self Care, the items in your Kit will need to be a bit more
personal. We’re going to come up with a bunch of suggestions, but ultimately, the things that find
their way into your kit will be the things that work for YOU.
Please remember that a First Aid Kit does NOT need to be something physical. It can be a set of
practices and behaviours that will help relieve your mind body and soul in challenging times. For
instance, I absolutely love smells. So when I’m feeling really down, I either buy a lovely smelly
candle, some freesias, stocks or other strong scented flowers, or I buy a new shower gel and take
a really long, hot shower.
The whole topic of wellbeing can feel a little overwhelming to a lot of us. It seems like a lot of work,
and many people have no idea where to start, so they don’t. I find that it can really help to split
your thinking into four categories of Self Care:
MIND BODY HEART AND SOUL
Most of our focus is going to be on the Body today, as that’s what we use most often, and it’s our bodies that got us here, in so many ways. I also feel that for us particularly, as dancers and performers and athletes, our body is tied absolutely to our mental state and our spiritual wellbeing. We’ll touch on some other ideas for your Mental Health First Aid Kit before we finish, but let’s put our focus onto the physical.
Here’s a quote from Kitty at the Uncustomary website that I really love.
“Forgive your body for disappointing you sometimes. You did nothing to deserve to hurt. Don’t punish yourself for perceived failures. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.”
I think we can agree that this is something ALL of us could work harder on. We’re so hard on ourselves. We rarely congratulate ourselves for the wonderful things our bodies do for us every day, not just at pole, but we’re quick to judge, to berate, to tell ourselves all the things that our bodies can’t, or don’t do.
So here’s my little list of 5….. 5 simple things that don’t have to cost any money, and can make a real difference. And believe me, on paper they may seem silly, but you really do have to DO them. You have to be ACTIVE in your doing.
AQ: What other things can you think of that could encourage your positive relationship with your own body?
So here are some of the common things to include within your Kit:
Bach Rescue Remedy
Face wipes
Fidget Spinner, stress ball or similar
Herbal (or other) teabag
Small blanket/pillow/cushion
Chocolate or grain bar
Gorgeous smelling hand cream or lotion
AQ: Can you think of anything else that you’d include to help on a physical/body
level?
AQ: So how do you think this relates to us in the Pole Industry?
Inevitably, as humans, we like to compare and contrast. I feel strongly that this is a HUGE thing in
our industry. It tends to be something we do without even realising we’re doing it. How many
times have you been in a class or workshop or event, looked to your left/right and thought to
yourself ‘I wish I was as bendy/strong/capable/fit as her’?
This leads me pretty neatly into social media, and how self care and social media relate to each
other in our industry. I want to give you 60 seconds of silence and I’d love it if you’d just think
through these three questions in direction relation to you and your life:
How do I use social media, what for?
What value does social media bring to my life
How does social media affect the way I feel about myself?
We’re all aware that as dancers and/or teachers, we have become increasingly reliant on social
media platforms to teach, learn, share and love what we do. Shapes, tutorials, new moves,
choreography….we watch, we save, we share, we copy. These are all positive things that can
nourish and expand our community. And that’s all well and good when you’re in a healthy, positive
state of mind. Being emotionally stable helps you to view social media for exactly what it is - a
snapshot of life, a millisecond of a moment. NOT real life.
However, when you’re finding life a struggle, and maybe not feeling your very best self, social
media can exacerbate all the feelings you are having that affect your self esteem and self
confidence, and make you question the very essence of yourself.
This became an actual situation for me a year or so ago. I hadn’t paid it any real attention, but I
began to realise that the emotions I was feeling seeing certain posts were not excitement,
enthusiasm, or motivation. The overriding feeling was envy. And possibly even a little jealousy, if
I’m brave enough to admit it. I’m fully aware that to look like Sarah Scott, Olga Koda, Doris
Arnold….. you have toTRAIN like those people. But I was finally identifying those pit of your
stomach feelings that I had been ignoring. Those images and videos were making ME feel rubbish
about MYSELF. Let me be really clear about something - this is in NO WAY the fault of those
posting the pictures and videos. This was all me. All my feelings, inadequacies and insecurities.
And then another thought occurred to me. There is no law that says I MUST follow these people
on social media. That I HAVE TO see their posts. FOMO is a real thing, people, but thankfully I
have lived enough to be past that to a certain degree. So I took the plunge. Each time I saw a
post that made me feel a certain way, I unfollowed. And you want to know something? It felt really
good. It felt like a tiny weight off my conscience. I know it all sounds super dramatic, but I think we
have become accustomed to underestimating the power of media, and the drip feed of what we
see every day.
I’m not suggesting you unfollow everyone that has ever inspired you. I’m talking about content that
makes YOU feel unworthy. Content that makes you question yourself. Content that makes you
feel less than the absolute superstar you know that you are.
Another suggestion I saw that I really liked; for every account that you mute or unfollow, choose an
account to follow that makes you feel GOOD. Kitten videos. Positive quotes. Fail videos.
Whatever floats your boat and puts a smile on your face.
Another little task for you to think over: Unplug for an hour. Switch everything to
airplane mode and free yourself from the constant bings of social media and email. You don’t have
to do this often, but it is incredibly therapeutic to silence your phone and just be in the moment for
an hour. Free from screen checking, liking, commenting, posting. I know it might feel daunting,
especially for those of us that are literally glued to our phones. But an hour here and there can
give you the gentle and necessary reminder that we did use to cope perfectly well without mobile
phones and social media! No great catastrophe will happen if we don’t check our email for an
hour. And anyone who needs you in an emergency situation will have your number to call.
My final piece of advice for you: baby steps. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the concept of
‘self care’. Just do little things, as often as you can, to support your wellbeing. And try all things,
however sceptical you may feel. What works for one, may not work for another, but you learn
either way. Think of this as a journey of learning about how to care for yourself a little better, a little
more often.
Take care and much love
Lucy Pole -x-
I suffer with a chronic pain condition (Fibromyalgia), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and occasionally depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed almost 10 years ago, and my own self care journey started because I was on the classic chronic illness roundabout of being in pain, taking serious and long term medication to control it, and getting sicker and sicker as the months passed. I was constantly in pain, constantly feeling low and out of control, and constantly popping pills that didn’t seen to have any positive impact on my life.
Over the years, I saw so many different types of therapists, and tried everything I could find. Aromatherapy, Acupuncture, Physiotherapy, Chiropractic treatment, swimming, yoga, pilates, back and forward constantly to the Hospital. And nothing at all seemed to work. I felt like I was getting worse and worse. And I was starting to lose hope.
Eventually I found Phillipa. She’s local to me, and specialises in child cranial osteopathy. The woman is like some sort of magical healing angel - I swear. I’ve been seeing her for around 5 years, and she has changed my life. Her approach is holistic - meaning that she treats the whole of me. She can take one look at my eyes and know what is working and what isn’t. Through her, I’ve learned that there are so many ways to take care of your body ….. and most of them aren’t actual ‘physical’ in nature. To keep your body healthy, you need to take care of your WHOLE self, and this is something that I think is so relevant to us as dancers/athletes/performers/whatever role you play in the pole world.
SO WHAT IS WELLBEING? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
QUOTE: Well-being is the experience of health, happiness, and prosperity. It includes having good mental health, high life satisfaction, and a sense of meaning or purpose.
Our wellbeing on a daily basis is affected by so many things. Practical things AND emotional things. How you sleep. What you eat. Who you are around. How your confidence levels are. What your worries are. How your health is. I like to think of Wellbeing as the whole of you. Your mind, body, and soul. All around, encompassing health.
To me, Wellbeing is precisely what it says on the tin. Being Well. In all senses. Not just taking care of our bodies physically by exercising and eating well, but taking care of our mental and spiritual health too. I know the word ‘spiritual’ can panic some people - for me it inspires images of 60s hippy meditation, but bear with me! There’s genuinely so much more to it than that.
So, if your Wellbeing needs a little attention, how do we do this? What do we do? How do we action improving our Wellbeing?
Please let me introduce you to a little thing called Self Care …
WHAT IS SELF CARE?
Everyone can do it
Everyone should do it
It really works
Self Care. It gets talked about a lot these days. It’s become kind of a buzzword, so naturally, everyone wants to know about it and wants to be doing it.
But what actually IS self care? And, more importantly, how can we use it effectively in our Industry?
“Give yourself grace and/or meet yourself where you are… the amount of time you have for self-care might be small or the amount of time you can stand to do it even, but you have to know that and meet yourself where you are and relax properly.” (Yvonne)
AQ: Can anyone describe self-care?
Here’s the Oxford Dictionary definition for us to start with:
The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.
1.1 The practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
As we’re talking about this more from a wellbeing perspective than a medical one, the second
sentence uses some important words. ACTIVE. Taking an ACTIVE role in protecting one’s own
wellbeing. Purposefully doing things that feed your mind, your heart and your soul.
So, to put it in it’s most basic form, practising Self Care is about finding ways to check in on your
physical, mental and spiritual health. And that’s where it starts to get a little more difficult. It’s easy to know when you need to do something. It’s much harder to know WHAT to do and HOW to do it. How do you go about nurturing your soul? It’s a great term, but to the average person, what does it mean?
Let me just skip back to that dictionary description. ACTIVE. Taking an ACTIVE role in protecting one’s own wellbeing. I think that’s a great place to start. Self care means that you actually have to DO things. Not just think about them. It’s as much about learning to be proactive as it is dealing with things as they come along.
If you’re new to Self Care, I think a really useful first exercise is to put together an individual Self Care First Aid Kit. Not only will this provide you with an emergency go-to if and when you feel panicked, emotional, or you need grounding, but it will start to give you an idea of the things that help you when aren’t feeling 100%.
AQ: What would you usually find in a standard physical First Aid kit?
Now obviously, putting together a Mental Health or Self Care First Aid Kit is much more
complicated. Why? Because for the most part, our physical ailments can be generalised, and
aren’t person-specific. A cut is a cut is a cut. A graze will be a graze on you, me and the
next person. But when it comes to Self Care, the items in your Kit will need to be a bit more
personal. We’re going to come up with a bunch of suggestions, but ultimately, the things that find
their way into your kit will be the things that work for YOU.
Please remember that a First Aid Kit does NOT need to be something physical. It can be a set of
practices and behaviours that will help relieve your mind body and soul in challenging times. For
instance, I absolutely love smells. So when I’m feeling really down, I either buy a lovely smelly
candle, some freesias, stocks or other strong scented flowers, or I buy a new shower gel and take
a really long, hot shower.
The whole topic of wellbeing can feel a little overwhelming to a lot of us. It seems like a lot of work,
and many people have no idea where to start, so they don’t. I find that it can really help to split
your thinking into four categories of Self Care:
MIND BODY HEART AND SOUL
Most of our focus is going to be on the Body today, as that’s what we use most often, and it’s our bodies that got us here, in so many ways. I also feel that for us particularly, as dancers and performers and athletes, our body is tied absolutely to our mental state and our spiritual wellbeing. We’ll touch on some other ideas for your Mental Health First Aid Kit before we finish, but let’s put our focus onto the physical.
Here’s a quote from Kitty at the Uncustomary website that I really love.
“Forgive your body for disappointing you sometimes. You did nothing to deserve to hurt. Don’t punish yourself for perceived failures. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.”
I think we can agree that this is something ALL of us could work harder on. We’re so hard on ourselves. We rarely congratulate ourselves for the wonderful things our bodies do for us every day, not just at pole, but we’re quick to judge, to berate, to tell ourselves all the things that our bodies can’t, or don’t do.
So here’s my little list of 5….. 5 simple things that don’t have to cost any money, and can make a real difference. And believe me, on paper they may seem silly, but you really do have to DO them. You have to be ACTIVE in your doing.
- spend at least half an hour naked
- Make a list of the things your body does miraculously on its own every day
- Buy yourself a new sex toy (or bust out your favourite) and use it
- Take time to touch your skin - cover yourself in oil or lotion
- Get an extra two hours of sleep.
AQ: What other things can you think of that could encourage your positive relationship with your own body?
So here are some of the common things to include within your Kit:
Bach Rescue Remedy
Face wipes
Fidget Spinner, stress ball or similar
Herbal (or other) teabag
Small blanket/pillow/cushion
Chocolate or grain bar
Gorgeous smelling hand cream or lotion
AQ: Can you think of anything else that you’d include to help on a physical/body
level?
AQ: So how do you think this relates to us in the Pole Industry?
Inevitably, as humans, we like to compare and contrast. I feel strongly that this is a HUGE thing in
our industry. It tends to be something we do without even realising we’re doing it. How many
times have you been in a class or workshop or event, looked to your left/right and thought to
yourself ‘I wish I was as bendy/strong/capable/fit as her’?
This leads me pretty neatly into social media, and how self care and social media relate to each
other in our industry. I want to give you 60 seconds of silence and I’d love it if you’d just think
through these three questions in direction relation to you and your life:
How do I use social media, what for?
What value does social media bring to my life
How does social media affect the way I feel about myself?
We’re all aware that as dancers and/or teachers, we have become increasingly reliant on social
media platforms to teach, learn, share and love what we do. Shapes, tutorials, new moves,
choreography….we watch, we save, we share, we copy. These are all positive things that can
nourish and expand our community. And that’s all well and good when you’re in a healthy, positive
state of mind. Being emotionally stable helps you to view social media for exactly what it is - a
snapshot of life, a millisecond of a moment. NOT real life.
However, when you’re finding life a struggle, and maybe not feeling your very best self, social
media can exacerbate all the feelings you are having that affect your self esteem and self
confidence, and make you question the very essence of yourself.
This became an actual situation for me a year or so ago. I hadn’t paid it any real attention, but I
began to realise that the emotions I was feeling seeing certain posts were not excitement,
enthusiasm, or motivation. The overriding feeling was envy. And possibly even a little jealousy, if
I’m brave enough to admit it. I’m fully aware that to look like Sarah Scott, Olga Koda, Doris
Arnold….. you have toTRAIN like those people. But I was finally identifying those pit of your
stomach feelings that I had been ignoring. Those images and videos were making ME feel rubbish
about MYSELF. Let me be really clear about something - this is in NO WAY the fault of those
posting the pictures and videos. This was all me. All my feelings, inadequacies and insecurities.
And then another thought occurred to me. There is no law that says I MUST follow these people
on social media. That I HAVE TO see their posts. FOMO is a real thing, people, but thankfully I
have lived enough to be past that to a certain degree. So I took the plunge. Each time I saw a
post that made me feel a certain way, I unfollowed. And you want to know something? It felt really
good. It felt like a tiny weight off my conscience. I know it all sounds super dramatic, but I think we
have become accustomed to underestimating the power of media, and the drip feed of what we
see every day.
I’m not suggesting you unfollow everyone that has ever inspired you. I’m talking about content that
makes YOU feel unworthy. Content that makes you question yourself. Content that makes you
feel less than the absolute superstar you know that you are.
Another suggestion I saw that I really liked; for every account that you mute or unfollow, choose an
account to follow that makes you feel GOOD. Kitten videos. Positive quotes. Fail videos.
Whatever floats your boat and puts a smile on your face.
Another little task for you to think over: Unplug for an hour. Switch everything to
airplane mode and free yourself from the constant bings of social media and email. You don’t have
to do this often, but it is incredibly therapeutic to silence your phone and just be in the moment for
an hour. Free from screen checking, liking, commenting, posting. I know it might feel daunting,
especially for those of us that are literally glued to our phones. But an hour here and there can
give you the gentle and necessary reminder that we did use to cope perfectly well without mobile
phones and social media! No great catastrophe will happen if we don’t check our email for an
hour. And anyone who needs you in an emergency situation will have your number to call.
My final piece of advice for you: baby steps. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the concept of
‘self care’. Just do little things, as often as you can, to support your wellbeing. And try all things,
however sceptical you may feel. What works for one, may not work for another, but you learn
either way. Think of this as a journey of learning about how to care for yourself a little better, a little
more often.
Take care and much love
Lucy Pole -x-